January is often a month of change, a flurry of new energy and a desire for action. It is also the time for New Year's resolutions. We talk to psychologist dr Agata Rudnik from the Faculty of Social Sciences at the University of Gdańsk about whether they are worth it, how to avoid frustration when encountering difficulties in fulfilling them and how to let go so as not to fall into the trap of our expectations.

- Elżbieta Michalak-Witkowska: Among the most common New Year's resolutions are diet, healthy food, exercise, a new hobby, learning a foreign language, giving up smoking and stimulants, more peace and quiet and time for yourself. There's quite a lot of that. 

Agata Rudnik: We can find a lot of information on New Year's resolutions and a whole mountain of inspiration... However, research carried out in the UK shows that nearly 90% of our New Year's plans are not implemented and remain only in our heads or on paper.

- Why does this happen?

By design, it's not easy to change something. It's been established that habits can be the hardest. Daily rituals, like a cigarette for coffee or chocolates after every lunch, give us a sense of stability and security. Our brain likes this a lot. However, it turns out that less than two weeks is enough to change old habits and introduce new ones.

- It's supposedly a good idea to set goals wisely. Instead of five, one. And if we're having a hard time deciding, it's worth writing down a list of New Year's resolutions with the assumption that it will be a success to fulfil at least one of them. What do you think?

The Mayo Clinic, an American medical non-profit organisation, talks about so-called 'SMART goals'. Thus, it points out that if we want to achieve a plan, it should be specific - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Trackable.

This is where the agenda really matters. Let's think about what we really care about and break down our goal into small steps.

Avoid making too many resolutions, as this is an easy way to fail to keep any of them. And let's not forget motivation, because it is the key to success. For example, it is much harder to learn a new language just for the sake of it than it is to learn new vocabulary just to speak to an interesting foreigner (laughs).

Many people find it helpful to share their goals with others, for example on social media. This, unfortunately, can prove to be a trap - the pressure is not always conducive to achieving what we want.

- What about space for slip-ups? Failures can be discouraging.

Unrealistic goals make us fall into a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. When we focus on what is difficult to achieve, we get frustrated and quickly discouraged. Therefore, it is extremely important to what you are talking about - to allow ourselves to fail. If we've managed to stick to a resolution for, say, five days, and on the sixth day something goes wrong, let's not get discouraged, but let's think: ok, it didn't work out today, but still, I managed the last few days. Get to work, because it's a shame to waste it.

- You mentioned that sometimes New Year's resolutions need to be approached in an alternative way. Then how?

We can approach the new year not only as an opportunity to improve our lives. It's worth thinking about what we can do for ourselves, but also others. Admittedly, there is always a small element of selfishness in helping, because it makes us feel better, but... let's all be selfish like that (laughs).

- Thank you for the interview. Happy New Year!

Thank you. Happy New Year! To sum up our conversation, I will take a quote from Tove Jansson, who wrote in the book 'Moominpappa at Sea':  ‘Well, it’ll be another nice long day tomorrow,’ said Moominmamma. ‘And it’s all yours from beginning to end. Now isn’t that a lovely thought!'

It is indeed a pleasant thought, and worth remembering.